Tired of your dog? Deploy him to Afghanistan!


He was cute when he was a puppy, but all the great plans you had went down the drain when you found he was unable to pay for the beer you sent him to fetch from the gas station. And for whatever god damn reason he’s unable to hold up a regular job like everybody else.

Sounds like your four-leggged food thief? Time to teach him some manners: sign him up to the Army and send that flea-bag off to Afghanistan!

A security firm that provides bomb search dogs to guard coalition forces is looking for new recruits. But owners looking to find a new home for their troublesome pet need not worry about its welfare overseas. “The dogs have veterinary support supplied by the US military, which is 100% no expense spared,â€￾ said Simon Mallin, of Cardiff-based Malpeet K9 Security. Mr Mallin told the Echo “totally bonkersâ€￾, excitable, even naughty dogs who have too much energy and chew the furniture are ideally suited for the taxing training and conditions in the war zone.

Check out that poodle! Yeah, shake that tail, baby

He said dogs that love to chase a tennis ball can be trained to seek out hidden explosives, including roadside bombs, as they will do it all for the reward of getting their ball.

Alright, time to teach my poodle his war face. Bullshit! You didn’t convince me. let me see your REAL war face! You don’t scare me! Work on it!

Of course there is a risk element for the dogs, the same as there is for troops and security contractors. That said, they are performing a vital role

pictured: vital role in the war effort

For dog and fatherland!



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Chris Maestro runs the Death Star this website. Everyone wants to challenge him to a fight to the death.

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